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Instagram, YouTube, Facebook and even the TV are overflowing with the Cinderella stories of entrepreneurial success, dreamers hitting it big and the rebels winning despite their challenges. We don't hear about the struggles, complete fails, the founders drowning from their business or the people ready to quit. Instead we see camera perfect smiles, beautifully staged scenes and inspiring words of “don’t quit you can do it, just like me!”. The internet famous say their journey was “hard” without painting a real picture of what HARD means. They just say keep hustling!! There’s a lot not being said in that four-letter word, HARD. Not long ago, I was trying to track down one of my favorite mentors Kevin, whom I’d lost contact with. I met him in 2008 and from the moment we met he was one of those rare people who made me feel like I could do anything and encouraged me to use my untapped potential. He always had a million fascinating projects going on and lit up the room with his infectious positivity. He was an entrepreneur, mentor and friend. We worked together on a few projects and he even brought me in as an advisor for a multi-million dollar venture capital project, which at the time I felt completely out of my league, but he told me I had just as much right being there as all the “old stiffs” did. Why am I telling you this? Well, as I tried to track him down, I discovered why I couldn’t reach him. SUICIDE. He and has wife had committed suicide separately on the same day and left their only son behind. I WAS SHOCKED. I was in complete disbelief. As the tears began to stream down my cheek I kept trying to grasp the reality of this news. I struggled to understand how the mentor that became my friend could find himself in a place where he felt suicide was the best option for him, his wife and to leave his son. I discovered there were more questions than answers for everyone that knew him. I tried to formulate answers on my own…. was it the struggling business, debt, feeling overwhelmed or something else? Sadly, we’ll never really know. I don’t and won’t pretend to know how something like this happens. But what I do know is this, something about his journey became too much to bear. The HARD became too hard. After my shock turned to sadness I just felt heartbroken and helpless. How could a larger than life person, with so many big dreams, brilliant ideas and beloved in the local entrepreneurial circle feel so alone, lost & desperate? I wish I could have reached out sooner, not lost touch....maybe I could have seen something in his eyes that said, "I'm in trouble". During the past few years there have been over 10 high profile entrepreneur suicides--who knows how many worldwide never make the news. Chasing our dreams is hard. It can be REALLY HARD, emotionally and physically.  The reality is we don’t talk about the “HARD” as much as we should. The problem with keeping this a secret is when many dreamers face their own HARD, it’s a surprise. Instagram doesn’t show the honest portrayal of starting a business, running it, struggling with it, not succeeding, feeling lonely, feeling overwhelmed, battling depression and coping with anxiety—and even suicide. They just share the feel-good quotes and success stories. Heck, it’s not just Instagram, we don’t share the messy part of the journey anywhere. Not everyone deals with their HARD the same, but I guarantee if you’ve had your own business or chased a really big dream you’ve felt some of these feelings at varying degrees—even if you “fake being strong” to the outside world. Some entrepreneurs think they're doing just fine emotionally but they're barely hanging on--they're just one crisis away from a mental health meltdown. The entrepreneurial journey can be long, so ask yourself can you sustain this journey at the emotional & physical pace you’re keeping right now? How are you dealing with your own “HARD”? The HARD part of your journey doesn’t have to take you as far as it did for Kevin and his wife, but it doesn’t mean it’s less HARD. Many dreamers, founders and entrepreneurs say they regularly experience depression and anxiety. It doesn’t matter if you’re a start-up, small business, consultant, freelancer or running a successful business, mental health is an issue for many. Some think everything gets better when you make lots of money, get lots of customers and become a “somebody”. Unfortunately, many times mental health issues and stress GROW as your business, status and profits grow. Many of my successful clients have reached their BIG goals and wonder why they still feel depressed and stressed. It’s because mental health is about something bigger…we’ll talk about that later though. First, I think all of us need to understand the scope of the issue. According to a study by Michael Freeman, entrepreneurs are 50 percent more likely to report having a mental health condition, with some specific conditions being incredibly prevalent amongst founders. The mental health statistics for entrepreneurs are staggering, Founders are: 2X more likely to suffer from depression 6X more likely to suffer from ADHD 3X more likely to suffer from substance abuse 10X more likely to suffer from bi-polar disorder 2X more likely to have psychiatric hospitalization 2X more likely to have suicidal thoughts Come to find out, the research shows that the very traits that propel entrepreneurs to success can also take them down a dark road of depression and other mental health conditions. Even if you don’t think you suffer from the more serious mental health conditions you probably have experienced at the least, burnout, stress, lack of sleep, poor physical health, unclear thinking, low productivity, exhaustion, short temper, relationship challenges and even low self-esteem. So, what do ambitious dreamers do to keep their mental health “healthy”, so they can chase their big ideas without sacrificing their inner health? Before you can find the solution, you first must admit the value of fixing the problem. Entrepreneurs are so narrowly focused on the success of their dream it’s no surprise they’re willing to sacrifice relationships, their physical health, their time, their money, their happiness and yes, their mental well-being. Why? The “Prize” seems to be well worth the PRICE. So, what’s the PRIZE? It’s the promise of more money, status, the promise of a better life, the hope of making a difference in the world, becoming a “somebody” or even just the addiction of the pursuit. Entrepreneurship is the modern-day gold rush. Growing up in Colorado, I’ve heard hundreds of stories about the gold rush and gold bust here in Colorado. Gold miners 200 years ago would sacrifice everything in hopes of striking rich—their prize. Yet, only a small number ever did. Most of them went broke, got diseases, got injured, went home or died before they got rich. The point is, they didn’t care about staying healthy or staying safe in their pursuit of getting rich. Sounds like many entrepreneurs I know. If I’m being honest, I’m guilty of becoming so focused on “pursuing my prize” that I go blind to the other important areas of my life and people. Over the years I thought I had to, because money was low, or I didn’t want to miss a window of opportunity. Any entrepreneur knows that the UPs and downs of entrepreneurship can cause mental health issues, stress, anxiety & even moments of crazy…at least for short periods of time. But I think the problem is when this constant stress and unbalanced focus becomes your normal, for many months or even years. Entrepreneurs don’t realize the price they’re paying for their dreams because sometimes it begins to cost them their health inside and out. How many dreams can you chase if you're sick? Your health is everything. When my mom passed away suddenly in 2013, it came at one of those particularly low times on my entrepreneurial journey. Losing my mom took me even lower. During the months that followed my mom's passing, I could totally see how depression can easily sweep you down the river and you can’t escape. However, instead of staying in this low place I reassessed my life and decided to measure my success in a larger way—beyond just my work. As a mom, I also decided I had to find a way to “do success and life differently” so I could give my son a different example. I created space for my “whole life” and not just my work life. Did it happen overnight? No, not at all. Did one thing fix it all? No, not at all. I still struggle with the balancing act, I still struggle getting stuck on the prize. However, I started making tiny changes to keep me balanced in my mental, spiritual and physical life. But becoming AWARE of my own tendencies towards sacrificing my mental health and neglecting the important stuff in life helped me look for solutions and make changes. A Healthy Inner Self Can Give You Real Strength—not FAKE STRENGTH In order for entrepreneurs to pay attention to their mental health, they first have to DECIDE it’s a vital resource that will contribute to their overall success. Research shows that finding ways to keep your mental health and stress balanced will contribute to your success in work and in life. It can also give you the inner strength to face your stress successfully. A University of Georgia study showed that people who exercise regularly to decrease stress are more confident, better able to focus, and more likely to follow through on promises and goals. Researchers also asked 1,300 people who earn upwards of $100,000 annually what helped them stay focused, and 75 percent said physical fitness, spending time outdoors and taking time away from work was a huge part of their drive to keep going. We all have stress, but entrepreneurs typically live in a “stress pressure cooker” that keeps them in a constant state of survival. Learning how to manage this stress and finding ways to improve your mental well-being begins to let some of the pressure ease. Here’s food for thought if you don’t think stress can impact your mind, body and whole health.  Researchers from the Cleveland Clinic share the serious side effects of stress when it goes unchecked. Too much of the stress hormone cortisol may make heart and lung conditions worse. These include heart disease, stroke, high blood pressure and asthma. Stress can trigger tension headaches, tightness in the neck and jaw, and knots and spasms in your neck and shoulders. Doctors call this the “tension triangle.” Stress really shows in your digestive system — from simpler symptoms such as pain, gas, diarrhea and constipation to more complex conditions such as irritable bowel syndrome and acid reflux (GERD). Stress can bring on symptoms of depression and reduce your enthusiasm for activities you usually enjoy. People also tend to eat poorly and exercise less when stressed, which only makes symptoms stronger. What’s the First Step To Making Mental Health A Priority For Entrepreneurs? Change their definition of success. Right now, the entrepreneur culture promotes hustling long hours, putting in your time, sacrificing the fun stuff for your dreams and tells you “no pain, no gain”. The gurus and internet famous preach hard work and tell their followers you’ll live the good life when you “make it”. The problem is they’re giving a one-sided view of the journey. They focus on “work & financial success” and building your “business & financial resume”. They ignore your “life, health & happiness success” and building your “life, health & happiness resume”. It’s not an either/or situation here. It’s finding ways to build your work success AND your life success—inside and out. Taking care of yourself mentally and physically should become your #1 business growth strategy. I’ve found that making space for happiness, rest and for things that restore inner health gives me the real strength to keep going. I know it’s hard when the entrepreneurial load you carry is heavy and sometimes desperate, but you can’t postpone taking care of YOU. It doesn’t mean taking lots of time, it’s about just taking moments of time to take care of YOU. Think of it as giving yourself a moment to rest on a long hike up a mountain. You’re not giving up or neglecting or ignoring your long climb…you’re just resting for moment to give yourself the energy to continue strong. It’s about reaching the TOP strong, emotionally intact, excited and enjoying the hike rather than getting there FAST, exhausted, alone and missing everything on the trail to the top. What Can You Do Today? Research shows that there are many solutions that have proven to help mental health in entrepreneurs (or anyone for that matter) that take less than 20 minutes a day, like being outdoors, being around positive people, meditation, exercise, doing something that’s fun, laughter, helping others, spirituality, gardening, traveling and even just rest. But in order to take the steps to do those things, dreamers, visionaries & big thinkers must first acknowledge the importance of their mental health as it relates to their overall success, happiness and life. The entrepreneur needs to be OK admitting that they’re dealing with stress that is making them unhealthy, unhappy and unfulfilled. The goal is to begin, take small steps and move towards improving mental health and balancing stress rather than trying to solve it all at once. Why Share This Story Now? I didn’t write this to give you all the answers (because I don’t have them all), I wrote this so you would take an honest look at where you are with your own INNER journey not just your entrepreneurial journey. I just don’t want another creative and brilliant mind to think that the stress they’re facing is inescapable, like my dear friend Kevin must have imagined. I’ll never know what happened with him, but I do know I can share his story, my story and many others to let you know that managing your mental health is important—regardless of if you face a lot of stress or just minor stressors. It’s time for all of us entrepreneurs, creatives and dreamers to be honest with ourselves about what’s going on “inside” of us because it really does impact our success, happiness and whole life. It’s also time to reach out to our fellow entrepreneurs and check on them, make sure they’re doing OK even if they say they are because we’re all good at “faking strong”, isolation isn’t the answer. Please share this so we can help our fellow dreamers, creatives and entrepreneurs. **If you are feeling like suicide is your only option PLEASE, PLEASE call someone.  Call someone that loves you, call a friend, go to a friend’s or family member’s house for a few days and talk about what’s going on. Doing this is a sign of courage and strength, not failure. Or call 24hr National Suicide Prevention line 1-800-273-8255. The world NEEDS you, your story and your gifts don’t let this temporary moment of pain, stress or desperation make you feel differently.

We all yearn for it.... PURPOSE. Like some special God-given name tag we want to wear proudly through-out our life that says, "My life's purpose is X". We hope that finally knowing what it is, will help us feel COMPLETE and KNOW our life's agenda. We want to feel like our life means something, that we are a part of something bigger than ourselves and we have a reason for being here. But are we really looking for purpose or are we looking for the "feeling" of being ALIVE?! Most people "looking" for purpose are people who are living what I call a "pond life".....stagnate, boring, full of stuff that smells bad and lacking the fresh water & movement needed to keep a vibrant ecosystem alive & connected. Don't worry, you're not alone, I've had my share of days and even years living smack-dab in the middle of my own pond life...pond scum and all. Many purpose seekers think everything will be fixed when they figure out their purpose. To them it's a Mind Game.....something to be figured out in their mind. The problem with this is most of us think "purpose" will magically FIND us or pop in our head after HOURS of deliberation but really we have to go out into the world to FIND it....among all of the other humans trying to do the same thing. And the process and journey will lead you to your purpose and also help fix the rest of the stuff. I want to FIND purpose....where do I look? Tell me, Tell me, Tell me!!! Some find it in their work. Some find it in their family. And then there are those who find it within their whole life. Their life gives them purpose....and for them they don't FIND it, they create it. If you find purpose only in your work or only in your family....there's a chance that things could change in those areas. And what you "receive" from them could fade or disappear. And there goes your purpose & meaning. When your kids go away to college what do you do? You lose your job or you're unable to continue your work? Then what?? You finish that dream project...then what? When you set up your fulfillment and purpose to be controlled by outside forces it's an unstable foundation because when one area goes wrong...you feel like your whole life has gone wrong...and the whole damn house comes crashing down on you. When you look "outside" of yourself for purpose, it's never permanent....and it's out of your control. When my mom passed away unexpectedly it proved to me how true this is. More importantly it's not about what's outside of us but our purpose comes from within and it goes deeper than a calling, our work, our family or the impact we want to make. Focus on Your WHOLE life The happiest people I've known are people that find joy, purpose and connection from their everyday life. Not from just one area of their life but from all areas. These people embrace purpose within their WHOLE life. They have people and experiences in their lives that bring them joy, meaning and deep connections. That could be helping people at a shelter one day, connecting with a friend the next, working on a project they love, meditating in the morning, singing while they do laundry and laughing with family during dinner. Their joy, purpose and connections ecosystem is vibrant, varied and fresh with new experiences. They feel connected, valued and a part of a meaningful ecosystem. When you say you are looking for your purpose....do you really mean you're looking for connections, value, happiness and being a part of something bigger than yourself? What do you do if you don't have the people and situations around you that bring you joy, value and connections? Go find them! Get out of your cocoon and jump into an adventure. Our digital world has taken us out of our REAL world. Our TRUU happiness and purpose comes from our connections with people face to face--not screen to screen. Come on people this isn't hard stuff!!!! Some of you are saying, "Oh crap! That means I would have to leave the house and mess up my predictable schedule--and my Game of Thrones marathon?!" Ignore the resistance of your inner party-pooper that's quick to tell you, "I don't feel like it...I'm too tired and too busy to have fun." I know as an adult it's harder to find new people to connect with. I'm all grown up just like you, and I say GET OVER IT!!!!!! I know it's hard to meet people if we don't meet them at work, through family, our "clubs", church or our kids ....so you go and find "your people". Where do "your people" congregate? Figure it out and then go there...in real life...not online. Here's one idea I've found that MeetUp.com is like "the friend dating site". It's for all kinds of people who want to connect and meet new friends. Find a meet-up that seems to attract "your people" and then click I'm going! You just have to be brave enough to show up alone and feel a bit awkward but most everyone else feels it too. You have to look at it as an adventure. I remember the first time I went to one several years ago. It was one for start-ups and I was a few minutes late. I walked in and felt like the whole room was starring me down. I swore I wasn't going to speak up or talk to anyone (counter-productive I KNOW!!) ...my only goal was to just show up SHARI! I feared it was going to be 18 year olds talking about APPS and platforms (the tech kind, not the shoes...) :) and I would feel out of place. However, my fear was quickly squashed. My scaredy-cat self discovered it wasn't at all like I thought. There were men, women and surprisingly all ages. I even had coffee with "one of them" afterwards and felt so proud of my brave step and realized this could be a great resource. Now I speak at many and attend several a month. If you don't have meet ups in your area go on a hunt for pockets of people you can connect with. Or look within your own groups and circles. Are there people you connect with but just don't take the time to develop the connection? Sometimes you already have people who would love to go for coffee, go to the museum or just go on walks with you....I know it seems weird at first to ask someone on a "friend date" but that's how you build friendships...real bonds. Human's need for a tribe and how that fulfills our purpose Most of us don't realize that this YEARN for purpose is a first world desire. I read an amazing article in National Geographic about "uncontacted tribes" and a new book, We Are One--A Celebration of Tribal Peoples. The article takes you to another world free of Instagram, cars, electricity and even clothes (not sure I could give up clothes). But they have one thing WE all want....purpose and a deep connection with their fellow humans, their natural world and spiritual world. Their seemingly simple world and to some crude lifestyle, is really quite the opposite. After the author spent a week with an uncontacted tribe in Tanzania, he discovered their life is "free" of all of our distractions, which allows them to humbly live a simple but deep existence. They value their connections and everyday life to their core. Each person knows their value in the tribe and their important individual connection in the tribe. Their sense of family, home and belonging is at the center of their existence. Compare this to the stark contrast of our world, where petty family disagreements tear them apart and people live in neighborhoods that they avoid talking to their neighbors but instead go online to meet people in their area and have hundreds of virtual friends on Facebook. We have magazines telling you how to live more SIMPLE and over 20 million people struggling with loneliness. Who is living the backwards life, really? Read the full BBC and National Geographic article. Your purpose isn't about finding anything. Your purpose isn't wrapped around a "thing", or "place", or "accomplishment", or "title", or "job" or even a "person". It's how you live and purposefully design your life. Your purpose shouldn't be an end point. Your purpose is how you live your WHOLE life, not just one part. If you're trying to create your joy, happiness and connections but can't find them....go out into the real world and start exploring, start living, start talking to others. Expect to do it wrong and awkwardly. Expect to not know what you're doing and where you're going. Be brave to take the journey alone but know everyone else is on that same journey....it may seem they've got it all figured out but my bet is they don't. We're all pretty good at faking our "I totally have this" look. Sitting, thinking, waiting, preparing, planning and observing won't take you to your purpose...only stumbling, walking, jumping, creeping, running, falling and DOING takes you there. It may not look perfect but DOING it with bad form is better than waiting. Go DO your purpose & DO your life instead of trying to find it.

How many of you turn to Google as your creative muse? You need to come up with a new idea or it's time to reboot an existing one and before you think of your own ideas, you open Google. It seems easier to let Google do the heavy lifting and let you peek into the windows of what everyone else doing.... right? Well, it's maybe easier but not better. How do you come up with truly innovative ideas if you start building from everyone else's ideas first? Do you think that's what Gandhi, Leonardo da Vinci or Nikola Tesla did? Uh....probably not. Sparks of inspiration can come from research, but true creativity & innovation comes from getting out of the research mode and getting into your own mode. I find I’m my most creative in business when I stop reading about business or even thinking about business. It’s when my mind is relaxed from the planning, strategizing and hustling that the most creative ideas pop in my head. “Innovation happens when we free our mind from needing to obey everyone else’s rules.” –Shari Kingston Adams When I stop “trying” to be creative and visionary, I become creative and visionary. Most of us spend the prime hours of our day with our heads down in the weeds doing the mundane--innovating nothing. Then when the rest of the world is home binge watching their favorite show we’re still obsessing over our website, our vision, marketing, sales or the impending dome we might face next week in a presentation. In our information over-polluted world, it’s hard to get away from all the noise and just listen to our own sparks of innovation and creativity. To find your creativity you must turn off the noise, obsessing, looking at everyone else--even your heroes. You can't create your own masterpiece if you keep looking over at other peoples' masterpieces. I’ve learned that when I go on a walk, go out in nature, go window shopping or even go on a drive, this frees my mind to wander, meander and explore. I gain ideas and inspiration from the environment around me. I don’t have an agenda instead I just allow myself to be in the moment. Authentic inspiration demands that we hit PAUSE and be alone with ourselves-- the great thinkers & inventors of our time needed this also. The only catch is we don’t do this with the intention that we will come up with awe-inspiring ideas every time. Ugh! that seems so unproductive right? Wrong! Hiding from my business, clients and to-do list for an hour or a couple days allows the light back in. It softens my thoughts and reconnects me to Providence. Sometimes I never leave my office, but I’ll watch a documentary on an artist or black holes in the universe. We need moments to remind ourselves that the world is much bigger and deeper than our business. This is why I find inspiration from concepts completely outside of business, like art, science, faith and history. We have so many amazing people that have lived over the past 2000+ years —yet in popular business & culture we naively only focus on people who’ve lived in the past 20-50 years. When I mention this to business friends, they usually say they only have time to read about their industry. What a shame. So much is missed when you only make time for your familiar and predictable world. Imagine the creativity, new ideas and inspiration they could gain from a philosopher or an artist. We look at business so literal. Business can be art, science or even philosophy yet we only see it in black and white—money, marketing and competition. Most “hustlers in business” don’t see inspiration outside of their business world, yet I see inspiration for my business everywhere. I think the people who see and feel their business like an artist feels their work has the ability to uncover more creative ideas, solutions and inventions. If you want a business that doesn’t look & feel like everyone else, you have to unleash your ability to be creative and find inspiration in many parts of our world—instead of just Google. Get out of your routine, go explore and find your creativity!